Evaporated Milk

HL Mencken, the Sage of Baltimore, once said "nobody ever went bankrupt selling ice cream to the American people":

Oberweis Dairy filed for bankruptcy protection on Friday. The North Aurora-based company, known for its ice cream and milk packaged in glass bottles, filed a voluntary petition for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protections in the Northern District of Illinois, court records show.
Oberweis Dairy files for bankruptcy protection with more than $4M owed: court filings

The dairy belongs to the family of perennial Republican candidate Jim Oberweis. Oberweis, who inherited the family business, was on the ballot in Lake County for Governor, US Senate, US Congress, on numerous occasions. Oberweis campaigned on anti-immigration, anti-abortion, and other far-right issues. Oberweis is now the owner of a bankrupt business and is not to be confused with perennial candidate and business-owner Donald J Trump.

Note to Ops: April 15 is tax day. Declaring bankruptcy does not get you out of having to file your Federal taxes.

A Dox on Your House

This is dedicated to each Lake County voter who is experiencing an identity crisis. You know who you are.

The Lake County Gazette has published the names, addresses, birth dates of every Lake County registered voter:

Needless to say, that is enough information to steal your identity. The Illinois Attorney General is investigating:

The State Board of Elections has asked Attorney General Kwame Raoul to consider legal action against the publisher of far-right faux newspapers and websites for publishing personal information about Illinois voters.
State elections board asks AG’s office to look into publisher of fake newspapers for printing voter data

Being Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette deploys web bots to generate much of its content.

Note to Ops: There are many reputable services available that promise to monitor, alert, and assist in preventing or recovering from identity theft.

Identity theft

Just Sayin!

Heliophobia

Anyone driving down to see the eclipse might want to leave their Tesla in the garage. None of those solar charging stations will be of much use to you.

One solar facility in particular will be of no use to one Lake County community.  Hawthorn Woods residents successfully stopped a solar farm from going up in their backyards:

An application for a proposed commercial solar farm site along Fairfield Road in Hawthorn Woods has been withdrawn. The village's recent annexation of the property is being challenged in court.
Public hearing on proposed commercial solar facility near Hawthorn Woods canceled as village annexes property

When asked if the Waukegan Airport will annex the property, a spokesman said: "No. The last time we annexed a solar farm, the first electric jumbojet that went up ran out of batteries at 30,000 feet."

April is the Foolest Month

Breaking news: Reliable sources tell your LakeCountyEye that April Fool's Day has been moved forward to April 2, at least for the current year.

Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye. Mark your calendars. It's not every day that your horometrical overlords fool around with April Fool's Day.

In related news, a truck did not crash into the Long Grove covered bridge. And the Waukegan Airport did not annex any public land. And no one was baked at the Mundelein cannabis festival.

The McHenry County Man who did not shoot himself in the foot was unavailable for comment.

Mad as a March Hare

Today's quiz is a fill-in-the-blank question, and was suggested by the Lake County GOP:

Q: You can never have too many _______?

The correct answer is GUNS.

The Lake County Republican Party is promoting another gun raffle. This time in Gurnee:

Lake County IL GOP

The gun raffle is this week, on Holy Thursday (Easter 2024).

A spokesman for the Lake County GOP said: "Have you ever been to an Easter egg hunt, only to go home empty handed? Next time don't disappoint your kids. You just can't go to a hunt of any sort without adequate firepower, so pick up a rifle and maybe a handgun at the Holy Thursday gun raffle.  Then bring those new firearms to your next Easter egg hunt -- I will guarantee that those Easter eggs will be dropping like clay pigeons!"

Minus Signs

Anyone who thinks the GOP does not raise women up on a pedestal is sadly misinformed. When quizzed about MCU superpowers, MAGA voters overwhelmingly say they want to have X-ray vision.

Those MAGA bros would also need X-ray vision, if they voted at this Lake County poll last week. Who were the GOP candidates? No one knows. The GOP yardsigns were all stacked together tighter than pancakes at a $17 Easter brunch:

Note to GOP Ops: You're doing it wrong. Use that Republican yardsign to block your opponent's signs, instead.

Identity Politics

Sharpeyed operatives say this is not Mark Shaw. Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye:

Keep on Trumpin'

If Mark Shaw is the former Chair of the Lake County Republicans. And if Mark Shaw is a 2024 convention delegate for former legitimate businessman and former U.S. President Donald J Trump. Then who is the guy with the gun between Joe Walsh and the missus?

The overcompensating fellow in the picture is obviously a boomer-aged white male.  Very likely a second amendment advocate, and to all appearances a MAGA voter.

And your LakeCountyEye would hazard to guess that he is opposed to women's rights, and to immigration, and to vaccines.

So who is this guy? Quite possibly Lake County backbench State Rep, Martin McLaughlin:

Note to Ops: If it looks like Donald Duck, quacks like Donald Duck, waddles like Donald Duck, etc., etc., then it must be Donald Duck.

Eat and Run

In Lake County, any politician who does not campaign on lunch bucket issues risks being handed their lunch. So it should come as no surprise that backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin says inflation is making your grocery bill way too high:

McLaughlin on inflation in Illinois: 'Things are tough for people and there's no relief in sight'

And if McLaughlin has his way you will need to buy plenty of those groceries to feed a growing family. That's because Martin McLaughlin is anti-choice:

Each election cycle the Right to Life McHenry County puts out a list of candidates that support their pro-life position so voters can elect representatives that reflect their values. We're proud to say that Marty is on that list!
Twitter

And be prepared to secure a loan before buying those groceries. Martin McLaughlin wants a sales tax on your grocery purchases:

Mayors slam Pritzker’s proposal to eliminate grocery tax

Note to Ops: Be sure to clip those grocery coupons. They not only lower the cost of your groceries, but your grocery tax as well.

The Pillow Fight

Breaking News: Easter Sunday 2024 has been cancelled nationwide. The Alabama Supreme Court just ruled that Easter eggs are children.

HaHa. Nowadays, couples who want to raise a family are going to have to go about it the old fashioned way -- with pillow talk. One local expert on pillow talk is Lake County backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin. Here McLaughlin is seen consorting with the pillow guy, Mike Lindell:

With all of the WOKE legislation proposed here in Springfield nice to see Mike Lindell at the state capital. Maybe we can finally put these bad policies to bed …. Comfortably of course! #martyforillinois #ReturntoReasonable pic.twitter.com/sekNi9OQSy

— Martin McLaughlin (@MartyForIL) March 6, 2024

Martin McLaughlin is anti-choice. Which means McLaughlin would deny any woman the freedom to make her own reproductive decisions. So if you buy a pillow from McLaughlin, be prepared to carry it all the way home -- even if it is full of bull feathers.

Illusion Fields

So there was a guy who liked to hike through the Forest Preserves, while wearing nothing -- except his virtual reality goggles. He didn't want to see any biting flies.

HaHa, the Lake County Forest Preserves are going all-in on AI:

The Lake County Forest Preserve District is using artificial intelligence to enhance the user experience for visitors to its website.
How AI is helping Lake County forest preserves engage with the public

Are the Lake County Forest Preserves in urgent need of some electronic sprucing up? Or would that be gilding the lily? Discuss in the comments.

In related news, someone hacked into the Forest Preserves computers and installed Flight Simulator. The Waukegan Airport was unavailable for comment.

Go for the Green

Question of the Day:

Lake County will spend a million dollars to resurrect an old dinosaur. Does that mean Lake County is rebooting Jurassic Park?

Answer:

No. It is for the Route 53 Extension Greenway.

HaHa. The News-Sun says ...

Land once acquired to expand Illinois Route 53 is to be turned over to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources (IDNR) to prepare to open the "greenway" for public use, after Gov. J.B. Pritzker included $1 million for the conservation project in his proposed budget.
Governor’s budget includes $1M for Lake County ‘greenway’

Then someone at the Waukegan Airport issued a statement: "We will earmark that $1,000,000 to defray our legal expenses when the Waukegan International Airport annexes the Route 53 Greenway for the runway expansion."

Don't Bet on It

Today's Question of the Day is a story problem:

Q: The 2024 Presidential horse race has left the gate, and Ron DeSantis already came in dead last. Would DeSantis have done better in that horse race if he had four legs?

A: If Ron DeSantis had four legs, he'd be working for Disney.

HaHa, Lake County Moneybags Richard Uihlein bet a million dollars on Ron DeSantis. And lost:

A billionaire couple from Lake Forest who are among the nation's top Republican donors gave more than $1 million to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' failed bid for the presidency in the final three months of 2023, federal records show.
Uihleins spent more than $1 million on DeSantis’ presidential campaign in fall — will they now back Trump

This would not mark the first time that Richard Uihlein dropped a bundle on an also-ran. In 2022, he gave $3,500,000 to Darren Bailey's failed gubernatorial campaign. And Uihlein, that same year, pumped $1,000,000 into an effort to stop a Constitutional Amendment -- the Illinois Right to Collective Bargaining. That ballot referendum sailed to victory by 17 points.

In related news, the Lake County GOP issued an urgent plea: "Please consider making a donation here in Lake County. We will have plenty of loser candidates on the primary ballot in March."

Saturday Night Special Cartoons

The McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot was outdrawn last week. By the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist:

Will there be more mash-ups for the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ and the McHenry County Man Who Shot Himself in the Foot™ any time soon? Not likely. One McHenry County MAGA man told your LakeCountyEye: "They bus in their pen-men from Chicago to make renditions of our Second Amendment patriots. And they bring with them their diseases and their crime into McHenry County. We need to build that paywall now."

Ash from a Hole in the Ground

Question of the day:

Q: How rich is rich?

A: Rich is when you donate your Tesla to Kars4Kids because the ashtray is full.

HaHa, the City of Waukegan's ashtray is full. With coal ash:

As Midwest Generation seeks modification of its handling of coal ash at its decommissioned Waukegan power plant from the Illinois Pollution Control Board, it is reconsidering its earlier proposal to cap one coal ash pond and remove the other. Local officials, including Waukegan Mayor Ann Taylor, have pushed Midwest to remove both ponds. State Sen. Adriane Johnson, D-Buffalo Grove, and state Rep. Rita Mayfield, D-Gurnee, introduced legislation in the Illinois General Assembly requiring removal.
Coal ash ponds the subject of Pollution Control Board hearing; 'Waukegan residents deserve better'

You can add toxic coal ash to the list of expensive environmental messes in the upper right corner of Lake County. Waukegan Mayor Ann Taylor said ...

the company has refused to cooperate with the city removing the pollution its coal furnaces have spewed for nearly a century. Waukegan already has five Superfund sites from other polluters in its industrial past, much of it along the lakefront. "The residents of Waukegan cannot bear the financial cost of yet another environmental catastrophe caused by a private company," Taylor said "This company is failing to address its environmental mess adequately. Waukegan residents deserve better."
Coal ash ponds the subject of Pollution Control Board hearing; 'Waukegan residents deserve better'

The Waukegan Airport quickly released a statement: "No, the Waukegan International Airport will absolutely not be annexing the coal ash for its runway expansion. Whatever gave you that idea?"

School of Hard Knocks

How about a quick run of fantasy football before the Super Bowl?

This is the line up: Your quarterback is the Antioch Village Trustee who wants to direct school policy even though she does not sit on the school board:

Trustee Petrina Burman began objecting last year to certain materials dealing with gender identity being made available to students in Antioch School District 34. That sparked an investigation by an outside agency. The citizens group and Burman have since taken to social media to express their viewpoints.
Antioch officials want to focus on plans rather than gender-identity debate; ‘This is … a distraction from getting these projects completed’

Suddenly there is a wide opening far downfield:

Lake Zurich Community Unit School District 95 is accepting applications from candidates to fill a school board vacancy.
Lake Zurich Dist. 95 seeking applicants for school board vacancy

Is this an opportunity to pick up a seat on a school board?  Not so fast --  applicants must reside in the school district. This means that Antioch Village Trustees are ineligible and would need to find other means to exert their influence. Perhaps by waging a social media campaign against that school district.

Hike!